#HOPEFULLY hopefully i will do my best and keep trying

[heavyhitterheaux]

IDGAF (NSFW)

See Me Through You Series

I don't care right now (I don't give a fuck)

Pull your hair right now (come here)

Tryna beat it right now (she like)

But you know I got a man

Synopsis: Joe has no more fucks to give and is tired of him not having the title of being your boyfriend

Warnings: mentions of dv

Do not engage if you are underage

Please Do Not Repost My Content Anywhere

After Joe had told you that he knew that you loved him instead of Trevor, you stood there speechless.

One thing you weren't about to do was tell him that he was wrong.

His eyes never left yours as he waited for you to say something. When you didn't, he knew that it had to be up to him to at least try to pull a response out of you.

“Look, Y/N, if you go back to him, fine. I can't stop you, but I do need to tell you one thing.” He told you as he grabbed your left hand to hold it while the other one was holding onto the bouquet of flowers that he had gifted you.

“What's that?” You asked him not knowing that you had absentmindedly squeezed his hand tighter.

“You’re making a mistake and hopefully you realize that before you get hurt again because I know that at this point, it's bound to happen.” Joe said as he was not holding back how he felt about the entire situation.

Now the question was why did Trevor have such a strong hold on you?

“Joey, I promise that you don't have to worry about me. I'll be fine.” You said while trying to reassure him, but knew for a fact that more than likely it was not working in your favor.

“And who are you trying to convince? Me or yourself? Do you also not realize how much your brother worries about you too? From what I've seen and heard about him, he is not a good person. Especially not to you. Did you forget him leaving actual marks on your wrist while we were at that party and you were trying to get away from him? What do you think would have happened if I wasn’t there to get you away from him?”

“I wish that people would just stop acting like they know what's best for me.” You breathed out, frustrated about being hit from all different angles.

Joe, Ja'Marr, Erin, and Alisha.

Even your parents thought that you had broken up with him a while ago because that's what Ja'Marr told them when he knew that Joe had eyes for you.

“Bam Bam! Why did dad just say he was relieved that I finally broke up with Trevor!? And that you had told them?! Didn’t realize my life was a soap opera to you!”

“I just uh predicted the future. Now you're not going to make me look like a liar to mom and dad, right?”

“I should beat your ass right now.”

“I mean…. You have someone who likes you that I know will treat you right. He's literally just waiting for Trevor to get out of his rightful spot.”

“JA'MARR! Who are you talking about!?”

“Pebbles, don't be dumb. I'm talking about Joe, obviously. I see the type of person he is and that's someone I want for my sister.”

The relief that was evident on their faces let you know that he was not ever going to have approval from anyone that was a part of your life.

As soon as those words left your mouth, Joe wasted no time responding to you.

“Oh so you think this is what a healthy relationship between two people looks like? And someone obviously needs to because you definitely can't do it yourself.”

“Just like you said before, if I go back to him, it really isn't any of your business or anyone else's for that matter. Let's keep it that way because I am done with this conversation.”

“If that's what you want then okay. I won't say anything else about it. And to add to that I'll keep my distance because you're right. You shouldn't be spending more time with another man that isn't your boyfriend and I guess he probably feels like I stepped on his toes enough. But he won't have to worry about that anymore.” He told you as he sighed and held up his hands in defense, losing the warmth that he had been getting from holding your hand.

“Wait…” You started to say, but Joe shook his head at you.

“No, this is what you wanted so this is how it's going to be from now on.”

“Joey, I didn't mean…”

“Didn't mean what? You love me but your ass is crawling back to him as he begs for forgiveness as usual after doing the bare minimum? Actually, he doesn't even do that. I'm not about to compete with anyone who I feel isn't even on my level to compete with me in the first place. I'll see you at the game if you're coming later. Probably not the best idea to wear my jersey since we can't have Trevor seeing it.”

Now it was apparent that Joe was more than pissed off with you.

“Seriously?”

“Seriously. I need to head back to my apartment to start to get ready anyway. But for the record….” He trailed off and you tried to grab his hand, but he immediately moved away.

“For the record what?”

“I love you too. So do what you will with that information.”

That's the last thing Joe told you before he turned away from you before he walked back to meet up with Justin and Ja'Marr.

Later that day in the afternoon, you were sitting next to Alisha and Erin in the student section of the stadium waiting for the game to start. After the conversation between the two of you earlier in the day, you honestly didn’t feel like going, but decided to anyway.

Even though Joe was mad at you, you had already promised him last week that you would wear his jersey to the game and didn't care who saw it at this point.

You were going to support your friend.

Your friend that you were in love with and he was in love with you however that was a whole nother discussion.

“You look good in your future husband's jersey.” Erin teased while Alisha laughed before taking a bite of her hot dog.

“He’s a little mad at me right now so hopefully seeing me in it will make it a little bit better.” You said as you turned to look at her.

“Well he can't be but so mad at you since he is literally making his way over here.” Alisha told you as you turned around to see that she was indeed correct.

The three of you were on the first row in the middle so that you would have the best view. In order to get these seats, all three of you made sure to get to the stadium early. When Joe finally reached you, he had an expression on his face that you couldn't quite read and you were the first one to speak.

“Surprised to see me?” You asked and he nodded.

“A little bit, but I know you. A promise is a promise and you said that you would be here. You aren't one to back out of something so easily.”

“Hmm, true. Are you still mad at me?” You quietly asked and Joe simply shrugged.

“Seeing you in my jersey is making me less mad if that helps. If you were my girlfriend, after tonight when I won I would be able to take it off of you. But I know my opportunity is coming.”

“I…” You started to say as you felt your cheeks heating up.

“Oh, that’s right. We established boundaries today and I promised that I would back off. It's kind of hard, but I just have to deal with it.”

“Joey….”

“Bold move though wearing it considering anybody could see it, including him. We both know that he already doesn’t like me. Think he'd be mad if I kissed you right now? In front of all these people? Letting the entire world know that you belong to me and only me even if you aren't ready to admit it yet.” Joe whispered as he leaned closer to you. Joe had spotted Trevor in the stands a few rows up and sent a small smile his way which led to Trevor glaring at him. You still had yet to notice that he was there which Joe was going to take advantage of.

When you were quiet, Joe laughed as he broke the silence.

“Let’s find out.”

He lightly grabbed your face and moved you closer to him so he could place a kiss on your cheek that was dangerously close to your mouth.

If you would have moved less than one centimeter, he would have planted that kiss on your lips.

“We'll talk later.” He told you while pinching your cheek and you simply nodded. This was the second time today that he had left you speechless.

“Have a good game, Joey.”

“It already is a good game, because you're here.” He replied as he winked at you.

He made his way back over to the sideline while Erin and Alisha were grinning from ear to ear as you turned around to look at both of them.

“I seriously wish yall would just fuck already. It would literally solve so many problems. He would take you on the fifty yard line if he could.”

“ERIN!”

“I’m just saying. I am literally waiting for the wedding invite. I wonder if you two will get married here or have a destination wedding? I can start looking up places.”

“What am I going to do with you?” You asked her, but also couldn’t help but to laugh at the same time.

What you didn't see was Trevor fuming behind you. He had seen the entire interaction and planned to confront you about it later. He knew that you and Joe were obviously close and were friends, but that interaction that he just saw was too intimate for his liking.

He hadn't cared for Joe ever since the party where he had stepped in between the both of you. In the back of his mind, he knew Joe liked you, it was obvious. But one thing that he had to do was set him straight and let him know that you were his and planned on reminding you about it later.

Little did he know, it was too little too late.

You were too far gone at this point, and the only person that held your attention was Joseph Lee Burrow.

Later on that night after he had gotten back to his apartment from LSU winning their game, Joe had grabbed food and was sitting down eating it while his phone vibrated on the table in front of him indicating that it was his mom and he quickly answered.

He simply wanted to be by himself and didn't bother celebrating with any of his teammates because once again, his mind was on you.

It was a continuous cycle, you, football, and focusing on his classes.

It took everything in him not to text you to tell you to come over at this very moment. He was supposed to be mad at you, but being around you was something that kept him grounded. Seeing you wear his jersey tonight made it hard for him to continue to be mad at you.

“Hello?”

“I watched the game and you played amazing as usual. I'm sorry that I couldn't make it to this one, but I will definitely be there next week.”

“It's fine, don't even worry about it and thank you.” He quietly said and she knew for a fact that something was wrong.

“What's going on? You sound upset.” Robin asked him and he sighed before he answered her.

“I like this girl…”

“Oh Y/N? Yes I know. Pretty obvious. You literally talk about her non-stop every week that me and your dad call you. Can't wait to meet her, but go on.”

“Well she knows that I like her, well I actually told her that I loved her earlier today and also told her that I knew she loved me. We've gotten really close ever since I came down here and met her. If I'm not playing football or in class, I am literally spending all of my time with her.”

“Well, what's the problem?”

“She has a boyfriend and I might just have to settle for being her friend because instead of breaking up with him and being with me, she told me that she is giving him another chance even after he's hurt her multiple times.”

“I know that can be hard to watch, but as bad as it sounds, you need to let her make her own mistakes. If that's her decision, you need to respect it.”

“And that's what I told her and also said from now on I’ll be keeping my distance from her.”

“If you feel that's your best option, then stand by your decision.”

“I just…. All I've seen is her getting hurt by him and she steadily defends him each time.”

“I… if you are her friend and you are as close as you claim you two are, just be there for her and help her get through whatever may happen. If the two of you are meant to be together, you'll be together.”

It was 2 in the morning when Joe heard someone knocking on his apartment door and was instantly confused. Hopping up from the couch that he had fallen asleep on with open books scattered around him, he opened the door to see you staring at him in a frantic state.

“Y/N, is everything okay? What's wrong?” He asked as he stepped to the side to be able to let you in and led you to sit down on the couch.

“My brother isn't here, is he?” You asked not bothering to answer his question and looking around since sometimes Ja'Marr would crash at Joe's place if he was too tired to go back to his own.

“No, but do I need to call him?” He asked and you immediately shook your head no.

“No! Please don't. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to yell, just don’t tell him.” You didn't mean to raise your voice and it came out harsher than you intended.

“Then are you going to tell me what happened? Wait, why is there a cut near your eye? And it's bleeding.” He asked and got up to wet a washcloth and dabbed at your face with it.

It was at that moment that you had looked down and started playing with your matching bracelet that you and Ja'Marr had gotten each other on your eighteenth birthdays and under no circumstances would you make eye contact with him.

That's when the thought hit Joe like a ton of bricks.

“Did that asshole put his hands on you?”

“No.”

“Y/N, if you lie to me I'm calling Ja'Marr.”

“Okay, okay. He tried to. We were arguing and he threw a vase at me that shattered against the wall and some glass from it must have cut me. And then he pushed me into a corner and acted as if he was going to punch me, but punched a hole in the wall instead. Right next to my head. He apologized, but I waited until he fell asleep and then I came here. I was so scared.” You quietly said as tears were starting to run down your cheeks and Joe quickly wiped them away.

It happened again, just like he said it would.

And this time, it ended up being a lot worse.

Joe was sitting there with his jaw clenched and once you looked up at him, you knew that you had to stop him before he did something stupid.

He abruptly got up and was looking for his keys when you instantly ran to stand in front of the door to block him.

“Move, Y/N.”

“Joey, no. You are not going anywhere. Let it go.”

“He fucking hurt you. I should go over there and kick his ass myself.”

“I cannot risk you getting in trouble and therefore getting kicked off the team, he isn't worth it. I'll be fine. Do not mess up your future over me.” You told him as you took his hands in yours.

“But YOU are worth it. Who the fuck in their right mind would do something like that to you? I knew I didn't like him when I met him and your brother was right about him.”

“Joey, promise me. Please don't. I'll deal with it in my own way.”

“There is no way in hell you are going near him ever again. Ja'Marr would be mad as hell at me if he knew that I knew that he hurt you and didn't do anything about it.”

“And that's why you aren't going to tell him.”

“Wait, what? Y/N… you cannot be serious.”

“I… it's the same thing with him too. You can both get arrested for assault and it'll lead to so much more, just please.”

Joe let out a deep sigh before nodding, letting you know that he would honor your wishes.

The two of you were still standing in front of the door and the two of you hadn't taken your eyes off one another when you suddenly reached up and kissed him, catching him off guard, but he immediately kissed you back.

When the two of you broke apart, the reality of what you had just done hit you like a ton of bricks.

You had just cheated on your boyfriend with Joe.

And you didn’t have an ounce of regret in your body.

“I'm sorry, I…” You started to say as you stepped away from him and Joe cut you off as he lightly brought you back towards him.

“I'm not. Break up with him and be with me instead. So I can show you how you're supposed to be treated. I promise you that you won't regret it.”

You didn't respond, but Joe immediately brought your face to his and kissed you once more. Both of your hands were exploring each other's bodies but as soon as you tried to lift Joe's shirt, he abruptly stopped and he kissed the side of your mouth like he had done earlier at the game before saying anything.

“Not yet. You've been through a lot tonight and the last thing I want is for you to feel like I'm taking advantage of you in a vulnerable state and you regret it tomorrow.”

“But I'm…”

“I just want you to rest for the rest of the night. We have plenty of time for that. I'll grab you some clothes to sleep in.”

Nodding your head he kissed you again before taking your hand in his and led you towards his bedroom that you had grown familiar with all throughout the semester. Any time you came over, it would lead to you stealing one of his shirts or one of his hoodies. He was convinced when the semester was over that all he was going to have left at this rate were his boxers. Once there, he let go of your hand and went into his dresser to pull out one of his old Ohio State shirts and handed it to you.

“It'll probably be huge on you, but you'll be comfortable.”

You smiled at him before heading to the bathroom to change out of your clothes. Once you closed the door behind you, you glanced in the mirror and didn't recognize the girl staring back at you.

You promised yourself that if it happened again, you would leave him, but here you were. You had someone right in front of you that wanted to give you the world so what were you so scared of?

You were tired of running around in circles and tired of making excuses.

First thing you were doing later on that day was breaking up with Trevor.

Once you had gotten changed, you walked back out into Joe's bedroom to see he was now in just a pair of sweatpants and looked like he was headed towards the door, but was quickly stopped in his tracks as he heard your soft voice behind him making him turn around.

“Where are you going?” You quietly asked since you were confused.

“To sleep on the couch while you sleep in my bed. Just wanted to make sure you’re okay first.”

“Joey, no. I'm not kicking you out of your bed and besides, I don’t want to be by myself right now.” You confessed as you grabbed his hand.

He nodded as the two of you both got settled, Joe was closest to the door while you were closest to the window. After making sure you were comfortable, he reached over to turn off the lamp that was on the bedside table. That was when he heard your voice once more.

“Joey?”

“Hmm?”

“Thank you for always being there for me. Even when I might not deserve it.”

At this point in time, you were honestly surprised that he even answered the door and let you in, but knowing the type of person he is, he wouldn’t have reacted any differently.

“I'll be here as long as you want me to be and you deserve the world. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.”

—

You didn’t know how long you were laying there, but sleep was the last thing taking over your body. Noticing that Joe's breathing also hadn't slowed, you turned around to face him and at the same time you heard his voice.

“Princess? You still awake? You need to go to sleep.”

“I can't sleep. I'm still so scared, I know he's going to look for me sooner or later.”

“You’re safe here and no one is going to touch a hair on your head. I can promise you that.” He told you as he stroked your face and placed a light kiss on your forehead as he was able to make out your features in the dark by the moonlight peeking in through the curtains.

“Come here.”

Joe then wrapped his arms around you and pulled you closer to him as he then leaned down to place a soft kiss on your lips which you quickly returned.

All of this led up to a heated make out session with Joe now hovering over top of you as his hands reached underneath his shirt that you were wearing. His fingers lightly grazed your nipples and he then began to roll them between his fingers as he noticed that your bra that you had been wearing had been long forgotten which he was thankful for.

Before he lifted his shirt over your head, he asked for permission to make sure you were absolutely sure about wanting to do this. Joe had wanted you from day one, but if you weren’t ready to do this he was willing to wait until you were.

“Are you…?”

“Yes. I was sure earlier tonight and I'm sure now. I know the last thing I'm ever going to regret is being with you.”

Once he peeled the shirt away from your body, he now had full access to you. The plan was to take his time so he could give you the undivided attention that you deserved since he knew for a fact that Trevor wasn't giving it to you without even having to ask you about it.

His mouth found its way to one of your nipples and he began to lightly suck on it while continuing to roll the other one in between his fingers before switching making a moan escape your mouth.

“Mmm, fuck.”

“I'm going to make you feel so good, princess.” He whispered against your lips before kissing them.

The increase in wetness between your thighs was evident as you Iet out soft quiet moans from the sensation of having him explore your body with his mouth.

As he moved further south, Joe's fingers ran along your folds as he saw how wet you actually were.

“This all for me? I've barely even done anything and your body is responding like this?” He asked you as he placed one kiss on each inner thigh.

As you nodded, he inserted one finger and soon worked himself up to two before settling in between your thighs and beginning to pleasure you with his tongue.

After a few minutes, he noticed you starting to squirm and firmly wrapped his arms around your legs in the hopes of limiting your movement.

“Stay still for me princess.” Was all you heard as your hands found a way to his hair and was softly tugging on it, hoping to bring him in closer.

With the use of his tongue along with his fingers, a new sensation unknown to you was building in the lower half of your body and at the same time, Joe began to suck on your clit.

“Oh, shit….”

Joe felt your hands trying to push him away from you, but all he did was tighten his hold on your legs making sure you had no way to get away from him.

“You gonna cum for me, baby? You won't be able to if you keep moving away from me.” Joe asked you as he had come up for air, but immediately went back down.

“Yes.” Was all you said as he began to suck harder.

It took no time at all for you to feel like you were seeing stars as Joe continued to pleasure you.

It was official.

Joe had given you your first orgasm.

He gave you a few minutes to recover as he was placing kisses up and down your thighs before sliding off his sweatpants along with his boxers as he opened the bedside table to pull out a condom. It was still obviously dark in the room, but you could literally see because of the light coming through the windows past the curtains, how big he was and you suddenly became nervous.

You thought to yourself that there was no way in hell that he was about to fit.

Joe could sense this as he was putting the condom on and quickly tried to reassure you.

“No reason to be nervous, baby. It's going to fit. Most important thing is that you have to relax for me.” He told you while leaning down to lightly stroke your face.

“Okay.” You quietly said in response, but you still weren’t convinced. But at the same time, you knew that Joe had no reason to lie to you.

Once he positioned himself in front of you, he reached down to kiss you and once he pulled away from you is when you heard his voice once more.

“You ready, princess?”

You nodded, but that obviously wasn’t enough for him.

“I need words, you need to say it. I’m not doing anything unless you do.”

“I’m ready.”

Once he finally heard it, you felt Joe slowly entering you and you tightly closed your eyes. As you did this, Joe immediately felt your body tense up.

It would have probably been a good idea to tell him that you had never had sex before before all of this began happening, but knew that he would be as gentle as possible with you regardless.

That's just the type of person he was when it came to you.

“Princess, you have to relax. It's me and the last thing that I am ever going to do is hurt you. When I told you that I loved you, I meant it. Every word.” He quietly said as he leaned down to kiss you.

You nodded and several more kisses were placed on your lips when you felt him easing the rest of the way into you at the same time making you gasp as your arms wrapped around his neck.

“You're okay, I got you baby.” Joe told you as he gave you time to adjust to his size before he made any sudden movement.

Kisses were planted along your neck and shoulder as you were adjusting to a new feeling that you had never experienced before. It wasn’t quite to the point of pleasure, however you weren’t necessarily in pain either.

It felt weird.

About a minute or so had passed when you slowly felt him begin to move and you wrapped your arms around him tighter.

Now all you felt was pleasure as moans escaped from your mouth when Joe began to increase his pace.

In order to go deeper and at a better angle, Joe held onto your hips before deciding to wrap your left leg around his waist.

“If you want this as bad as you say you do, keep those legs spread. Fuck you feel so good around me, just like I knew you would.”

Since your arms were already tightly wrapped around him, his face was in the crook of your neck as he had now leaned forward.

Making that sudden change in position, he was now hitting the same spot over and over again and you just knew that it was about to send you over the edge sooner or later.

You were thinking that it would probably be sooner.

“Fuck, Joey stay right there.” You breathed out as he lifted his head to steal a quick kiss from you.

Doing what you had asked him to, his movements increased in pace while also becoming sloppy at the same time making you think that he was just as close as you were.

“Joey, I…” You trailed off as a weird sensation was building in your stomach once more and you knew it was happening again.

The second orgasm hit you like a ton of bricks and you felt like you had gotten the wind knocked out of you.

As Joe heard your soft whimpers, he placed kisses all along your shoulder blade as you rode out your high.

He placed another kiss on your forehead before he slowly slipped out of you making you wince and went to throw away the condom.

Once he had come back, he had a washcloth with warm water in his right hand as he started to gently glide it onto your body in order to wipe you off.

When he was finished, he threw it into the hamper and laid back down beside you, ultimately pulling you on top of him. Your eyes began to become heavy between Joe rubbing small circles along your back and listening to Joe's heartbeat.

Your eyes fluttered open from hearing the television on a low volume and you could only assume that Joe was already awake. Once he noticed that you began to stir, he peeked down at you seeing as you were still laying on his chest.

“Good morning, princess.” He softly said before placing a kiss on your forehead.

“Good morning. What time is it?”

“It’s almost nine and I was about to wake you up since I know that you have class at ten and it takes you five to seven business days to get ready.”

“Really, Joey?” You replied as you rolled your eyes.

“I call it like I see it. I always tell you what time I’m going to come and get you, however, I’ll be downstairs waiting in the car while you only still have one of your lashes on.”

“You get on my last nerve.”

“But did I lie?”

When Joe was met with silence and another eye roll from you, all he did was laugh.

“I guess I have to go and get ready then.” You told him as you sighed, not wanting to leave his embrace.

“We can do dinner later and have a study date…. With or without clothes.”

“JOSEPH!”

“What? What’d I say that was wrong? I was just giving you options!” He exclaimed as he then held up his hands in defense.

“I’m ignoring you. What time are we doing our dinner and study date?”

“As soon as you get out of class, just come back here.”

“I’m honestly a little nervous to go back to my apartment.” You said being completely honest.

“Just get some of your things and you can stay with me, you know that I don’t care and the most important thing is that you’re safe. I have to go to class too, but I can call Ja’Marr…”

“NO! Baby brother asks too many questions. I’ll be fine. The security guy who works there is super nice and I know if I tell him I don’t feel all that safe he’ll walk me to my apartment door.”

“As long as you’re sure. But call me if there’s a problem, understand?”

“Understood, Mr. Burrow.”

—-

Joe was still running off of the high from this morning as he had woken up to the sight of you beside him. He was walking to his last class of the day on campus when he did a double take as he spotted you in front of one of the many libraries that he knew was near a few of your classes. But who he saw you with was why he instantly became upset.

You were talking to Trevor, who of course he despised and for good reason.

He couldn't tell what the nature of the conversation was by your body language and it almost looked as if Trevor was barely paying any attention to what you were saying which wasn’t unusual.

So, did last night mean nothing to you?

Joe was watching you for a few more minutes until he looked down at his watch and noticed that if he didn't leave now that he would end up being late to class.

At this point, he was done trying.

If that's who you wanted, then fine.

And he made it up in his mind that he was done.

Completely.

Throughout the day, you were calling him and sending him text messages, that ultimately went unanswered making you nervous.

You deserved to get an explanation on why he was suddenly acting this way towards you and immediately hopped into your car after packing your bags that you were going to take in order to stay with him and quickly drove to his apartment.

The banging on Joe's door instantly annoyed him seeing as he just sat down to watch one of the many NBA games that we’re coming on that night. He glanced at the clock to see that it was barely 6 pm and had a feeling that it was you.

A deep sigh escaped his mouth before he got up to answer it. Once he did, he was met with you just as he suspected and you had a pissed off look on your face and Joe raised his eyebrows at you in confusion.

“Yes? Did you need something?”

“So, you can have sex with me, but then suddenly ignore me? I may be little, but I will kick your 6’4 ass and throw a dumbbell at your head.” You asked him and pushed your way past him into the apartment.

“It's not even like that so stop jumping to conclusions.” Joe replied as he closed the door behind you.

“Then tell me so I can understand, Joey! Because you have me confused. You claim to want me so bad and then end up ignoring me all day!? When I called you multiple times? Who does that?”

“Because I saw you with him! Why the fuck are you even talking to him? Hasn’t he hurt you enough?”

“Now look who's jumping to conclusions.” You said as you crossed your arms.

“Then why else would you be with him? You did tell me recently that you were going to give him another chance. Recently as in yesterday before we had sex so I simply thought she claims she loves me, yet she's still going back to him.”

You pinched the bridge of your nose before you said anything else to him.

“You are literally so annoying. I went to talk to him to break up with him! Last time I checked you did confess that you loved me or did I not get that right?”

“Oh.” Joe quietly said and you couldn't help but to roll your eyes.

You started to make your way back towards the door in order to leave when you felt Joe suddenly pull you back as he wrapped his arms around you.

“Let me go. I'm mad at you.” You said as you were trying to wiggle out of his grip.

“I'm sorry. I shouldn't have assumed anything.” He replied as he turned you around to face him and leaned down to kiss you.

“No, don't kiss me. Turn me loose. Leave me alone. All you literally had to do was just ask me.”

“I know, but seeing you with him just pissed me off and so I walked away. I promise it won’t happen again. You forgive me? I’m not letting you go until you say you do.” Joe asked you as he squeezed you tighter and leaned down to kiss your forehead.

“I guess.” You muttered as he led the both of you over to the couch as Joe sat down first and then pulled you onto his lap.

“So, is it official now?” You asked him as he had been focused on the game that was playing on the television.

“Is what official?”

“Me being LSU's star quarterback Joe Burrow's girlfriend.” You teased as you kissed the tip of his nose.

“You've been mine for a while. That ex-boyfriend of yours was just keeping my spot warm. I bet he never made you feel as good as I did last night.” Joe told you as he was wiggling his eyebrows as you both then let out a laugh.

“No, because I never had sex with Trevor.”

Joe immediately stopped laughing and looked at you with wide eyes.

“Wait, huh?”

“I never did because I told him that I wanted to wait. That was one of the only things he actually did respect, but I know for a fact that he's probably cheated on me multiple times because of it, but I just ignored it.” You replied while being completely honest.

“Uh, princess? Don't you think you should have told me that? Fuck did I…? Shit. I would have made it a lot more special if I would have known. I would have had candles and…”

“Stop it. It was perfect. Everything was perfect.” You cut him off as you kissed him and tried to reassure him.

“I waited for the right person who I knew for a fact was going to treat me right.”

[na0koz]

HIIIIIII

I was thinking about a reader who’s either equally if not more obsessed with jinx? (Sorta like love Quinn and Joe from you-) and so they’re both stealing stuff from each other, extremely jealous, and super super obsessive but trying to keep it from each other 😭

hi guys….this is not my best work, apologies in advance.. i definitely could have made reader crazier but i just COULDNT!!!! writers block is one hell of a drug. i hope this satisfies yall while i work on a couple other requests. they should be better, hopefully..

this is the request where i had a few other similar ones! i hope everyone who requested the similar ones is happy with this lol.

toxic!jinx masterlist

the thing with jinx was that she was always just a little less aware than the average person. you always thought you weren’t all that discreet about how obsessed with her you were, but she never really caught on. to be fair though, she was much more obvious about her own obsession.

it kind of cancelled yours out, hid it from her. she wasn’t completely open about it, she did absolutely everything she could to hide certain aspects of her behaviour that she knew (thought) would scare you. what she didn’t know was that you were doing practically the same thing.

whatever she hadn’t taken from you, you had taken from her. one time, she was cleaning herself up after somehow exploding an egg all over herself while trying to cook for you. you took your opportunity as your eyes trailed over all of her stuff that she’d strewn over your apartment. clothes, her boots, her bag and its contents.

you locked your eyes onto one of her boots, the ones she wears every day. you creep towards it and unlace it, completely pulling the string out. quickly, you pocket it and dig around in your drawer for something to fill the space with. to your luck, the ones you had were the exact same as the one in her other boot. you thread it through the holes in the worn leather and hurry back to where you had been standing.

she comes out of the bathroom with steam billowing around her frame just a few seconds later. she looks so pretty you could literally burst into song and dance. you smile at her and shove the lace deeper into your pocket.

“all clean?” you sing at her. she nods enthusiastically and starts clawing around in your closet for some clothes to wear. she looks so pretty with her hair down, strewn over her bare back in wet clumps.

you snatch your phone from the counter and snap a photo of her. you save it into your folder full of hundreds of photos of her from all kinds of different angles.

she turns around after pulling one of your tshirts on and skips over to you. she leans forward onto your shoulder as you shove your phone into your other pocket, hoping she doesn’t notice your hasty movements.

“brush my hair f’me?”

you can’t say no to her, not with those eyes and that smile, that hair, that waist and.. anyway. you nod and she cheers, going to grab her your hairbrush. she flops herself down in front of you on the couch and flicks her wet, tangled hair into your lap. you have no idea how she managed to get it to grow so long.

you start to brush her hair, when a few strands of jinx’s cerulean hair loosen themselves and find their way onto your clothes. you make an effort to keep it stuck to you to add it to your collection, you were just so fascinated with how blue her hair was.

that same night jinx manages to cut a small lock of your hair off while you slept peacefully. she intertwines it with a lock of her own. to the average person, she would look like an absolute psycho casting a spell on you, but she’s just… you know… making sure you stay in love forever. no similarities to spell casting at all.

strange how you do practically the exact same things to each other, yet never realise.

———

jinx often contradicts herself. she needs to know every single detail about everything you’ve ever done and will do and are doing, yet if she’s going somewhere she almost never tells you where or when or for how long. in her mind, if it doesn’t directly involve you then you don’t need to know.

you’ve mentioned it to her a couple times, and she’s said she’ll try remember to tell you. she never does, so you take matters into your own hands.

she had mentioned something about a market a couple days ago, so you thought you’d check there first; you knew it was definitely on today. after some scouting around, you catch a glimpse of her typical blue braids. ducking behind a stall, you mentally applaud yourself for being sooo smart and tracking her down.

you watch her from a distance, just as she does to you. not once does she notice you, just as you do when she does this. the pair of you are much more similar than you both realise.

it was almost comical, how both you followed each other, stole each other’s stuff, basically stalked one another and were so so obsessed, but neither of you knew about the other’s actions. you wonder what would happen if jinx caught onto you, and she wonders the same thing.

after a while of her skipping around, jinx stops and leans against a wall. she watches people pass by her as she nibbles on whatever sickly sweet pastry she had bought. she often gets pretty overwhelmed in crowded spaces like this one, and has to withdraw like she’s doing now. you know that. you notice pretty much every tiny thing about her. you hope she does the same.

you watch her, unblinking. any other (sane) person would feel at least a smidge of shame from doing this, even freaking out and labelling themselves as a gross perv. but you don’t even have it in you to do that, not when you love your girlfriend so much. you just can’t let her roam around by herself, what if she needs you?

you’re only doing it because you love her.

she only does it because she loves you.

once jinx decides she’s ready to venture back into the crowd, you notice her scanning over a stall covered with trinkets and jewellery. she eventually picks up a necklace, holding it up and swinging it in front of the old woman running the stall. it caught the sunlight and shimmered as jinx paid for it and skipped off.

you realise she’s headed home so you have to take off in a sprint to make it back before her. you may not be ashamed of your obsession but you don’t really like the idea of getting caught. you know jinx is a liiiittle crazy, and you’re not really sure how she’d take it.

a couple hours later, after the two of you had dinner, jinx jumps up from her seat.

“i got you somethin’!”

she comes back with a small box, decorated by her no doubt. the paint splattered over it, a wonky, graffiti-style heart in the middle, gave it away.

she opens it and holds up the necklace you watched her buy that same afternoon. she dangles it in front of you as she did to the woman she bought it from, a big grin on her face.

you tell her you love it as she clasps it around your neck. you glance down at the shoelace wrapped around your wrist, the one you pulled from her boot a few days earlier. when jinx asked where it was from, you told her you got it on vacation when you were younger. close one.

it is really goddamn difficult to act like you’ve never seen that necklace before.

[nyctophiliq]

── # 𝗖𝗛𝗥𝗜𝗦𝗧𝗠𝗔𝗦 𝗕𝗢𝗡𝗨𝗦 lawyer! abby anderson

content warnings.          18+ MDNI, nsfw content, SMUT, female-bodied reader, lawyer! abby anderson, apprentice! reader, semi-public sex, office sex, implied age gap (?), power imbalance, praise kink (reader), fingering, eating out, kissing, tiny spots of dark content,

author's note.   this is really just yapping and some smut but hopefully it's not disappointing either way HAHAHAHA enjoy.........

so, there wasn’t a lot you could have done about the unfortunate hours you were called in for just try and bear it with the unlimited coffee that the office let you have. you wouldn’t call it a christmas bonus, but it was definitely not the cheap blend they left out, this one actually tasted like coffee and not just some dirt brown liquid with some caffeine sprinkled in it. for a law firm designed for the people who had money to spare, they sure skimped on procurement of the cure for sleep deprivation.

“let’s have a chat in my office.”

out of anything that graced the earth to wake people up, miss anderson, top partner of the law firm and who you were assigned to do grunt work before you could take on your own cases was the best remedy for the last rush of cases before everything stopped for the holidays.

miss anderson always asked you at times like this to sit into her chair, imagine yourself as the top partner, and the stress it came with which you usually stammered out a couple of apologies for because you were there to make her life easier, not to stress her out even more with your rookie comments.

“don’t worry darling, it’s the managing partner’s fault, not yours.”

comments like that puts you at ease, gives you back that spark you need to keep going for that bright future of being a big shot lawyer at one of the best law firms nationwide. it gives her the very opportunity she was looking for to take advantage of- you buried deep within her cherry-picked praises that you don’t even notice when she goes to the door to turn the lock and dim the lights, that her heels are now not clicking with rush but with a sort of sultriness (not that you were paying attention to anything but her words).

and oh god her words, she could talk you into anything and she knew it, abused it just the way you wouldn’t complain about it to anyone, and even if you thought about gloating, there was just no way anyone would believe you. it was an all-evil plot to use you for her own ease, to get rid of that thumping headache that always tore through her eyes and ears.

“next to your christmas bonus, I have come up with my own form of… gratitude.”

 because everything has led up to this moment, although she wasn’t too keen on kneeling for an apprentice, her head being between your thighs with the plush of them warming her ears and your moans calming that migraine that the snow and deadlines brought with themselves. needing and wanting more was on both of your minds as miss anderson’s tongue delved deeper within your leaking hole, with a thumb gently circling your clit and an empty hand filling itself with all that it could find under your white button up.

she is slowly easing you into a rhythm, something that followed the tempo of the slow christmas music faintly playing in the background, but overtime as the world faded, so did the sluggish movements of her tongue and fingers, and soon she was eating you out like there was a time rush, a hungry animal who could only survive on your sweet nectar pried from you with numbing pleasure.

you couldn’t place yourself when the knot in your stomach started to tighten, the rush of adrenaline that surged through you at the promise of an orgasm made you tear up the expensive leather of your boss’s chair and almost dig a hole into her spine with your high heel. it was a shot of ecstasy after each bold stroke of her finger that moved through your clenching walls and if she hadn’t told you to keep quiet then stuff your panties into your mouth to actually keep you quiet, you were almost certain that cops would’ve showed up at the rate you would have screamed at.

but the night wasn’t over after she kissed and fingered you through your climax, not when her lips were so addicting that after she completely pulled away, hands cradling your face as she pulled you closer to herself. on top of her desk, legs open and skirt riding up until her black lacy panties just peak out, letting you have a sample like a search-and-rescue dog, getting you hooked on the smell alone and having you want more and more until there is nothing left for you to look for.

[misfit0789]

The Night Before Forever

Kyra Cooney-Cross

Summary: R tells her sister of her plans for when Kyra gets home from Arsenal's pre-season trip.

Word count: 2.3k

Warnings: None just fluff.

This is the first part of the KCC fic that won the poll. I will warn the second part won't be as fluffy. Just remember this is the one y'all voted for 😈 I'm not sure when, but hopefully, I'll have the second part out by the end of the year.

Y/n POV

"Y/n/n!!" I turn and get down on one knee to greet my niece holding my arms out and wrapping them around her as she jumps on me.

"Harps!!" I stand and hold her close to me. I glace over her shoulder sending my sister and her wife a smile receiving one in return. "How have you been? Are you being a good big sister to Koby?" I ask when she pulls back. She nods eagerly as I turn balancing Harper on my hip and grab one of the bags from Katrina, when she and Clara had reached us.

"The best! Mama and RaRa said I'm the best big sister!" She exclaims. I smile, pressing kiss to her head as she starts telling me what she's been doing to help her mom and Clara with the baby as the adults  I turn to look at her when she's gone quiet and notice her fast asleep on my shoulder. I chuckle and nudge my older sister.

"I still have that effect on her," I say as Katrina looks over at me and her daughter before chuckling.

"You have that effect on everyone. No one can sit with you during a movie or show without falling asleep on your shoulder. It's like you exert some kind of sleep drug." Katrina scoffs, I shrug and set her bag down next to my car. I dig in my pocket for my keys and click the unlock button before reaching to open the boot, Harper balanced in my arms.

"I'm just that good of a cuddler." I smile, picking up her bag and placing it in before moving to the drivers side and opening the back door to settle Harper in the car seat I keep there. I click the buckles into place and gently shut the door to keep her asleep before moving to help Clara put the rest in the car.

"I can attest to that," Clara says, causing Katrina to look at her in shock, as she bounces to keep Koby asleep. "What? You knew when I first got pregnant  that she would come over and help me watch Harper when you were at practice before you got hurt. There were many times where she'd be sitting with me on the couch and Harper was playing or napping and as soon as she sat down it was like a switch was flipped and I was asleep on her shoulder." She explains pulling the boot door down once we got their bags in. I nod in agreement.

"It's true, you should see how quick Ky falls asleep on me during movie nights. I blink and she's passed out on my shoulder." I walk over to the driver's side, looking at Clara and Katrina, smiling as the two work together to get Katrina in the middle seat before both buckle Koby into the seat I installed once I knew they were on their way back from Australia. I buckle my seat belt as Clara opens the passenger door getting in and doing hers as well.

"You and that pest are unfortunately very cute together. How is she?" Katrina asks, making eye contact with me through the rearview mirror. I quickly look away trying to hide the blush on my face. "Ooh spill,"

"Spill what?" I question, refusing to make eye contact as I start driving us to her and Clara's apartment.

"Why you are blushing as hard as you are when I bring up Kyra." Katrina asks leaning forward in her seat. I glance at her in the mirror when I stop at a light.

"No reason," I inwardly curse when my voice jumps an octave.

"You're lying!" she whisper yells so she doesn't wake the kids sleeping on either side of her. I sigh, "You're voice always jumps like that when you lie, has since you were little, now spill!"

"I'm going to propose to Kyra after she gets back from Arsenal's preseason tour in the States," I whisper hoping neither one heard me but judging by the gasps I hear from them both that's not the case.

"Really?!?" Katrina yells out, completely disregarding her prior concern for keeping quiet causing Clara to shush her.

"You'll wake the kids!" She whisper shouts reaching back to smack Katrina on the head causing her to wince in pain. "But that's wonderful news Y/n!! You and Kyra were made for each other!!" Clara whispers resting her hand on my arm. I glance at her giving her a grateful smile before turning back to the road ahead to make the last turn to their apartment.

"You really think so?" I ask glancing at Clara as she nods.

"Of course! You two balance each other out perfectly. You’re the calm to Kyra's storm," She whispers. I turn to give her a quick smile before turning into their buildings parking lot. I turn off the engine before getting out of the car. I open the boot and grab their bags while my sister and her wife each get one of the kids out of the car. I meet them at the door to their apartment and wait as Mini unlocks the door, balancing Koby on her hip. Unsurprisingly Harper had woken up and is sleepily leaning into Clara's side as Clara runs her fingers through Harper's hair. I smile softly at the sight.

Once the door is open I allow the couple to walk in first with the kids before I follow them inside.

"Where do you want your bags Kat?" I ask stopping just inside the door. She turns from placing Koby in his rocker.

"I can take them. We have to do a load of laundry tomorrow anyway so I'll sort them now." She moves to grab the bags from me before walking out of the room. I turn to see Clara sitting on the couch, Harper curled up on her lap asleep.

"It seems I'm not the only one with powers," I chuckle taking a seat on the chair opposite Clara and Harper.

"Haha no, she's still on the after effects of your power," Clara answers softly, running her hand along Harper's back to keep her asleep, so she won't be cranky in the morning as their plane had landed after 9 pm.

"So, the clothes are ready to be washed, I didn't run the load yet since it's so late but I'll run it in the morning. Y/n/n you're staying the night right? I know it can be lonely with the pest still in the States until tomorrow night." Katrina asks standing behind the couch where Clara is seated with Harper, her hands resting on Clara's shoulders. I shrug looking at the family.

"If you don't mind I will. I have to make the drive to the airport again tomorrow to grab Ky and a couple of the other girls anyway and your apartment is closer than mine and Ky's." I answer. I grab my phone when it buzzes in my pocket. "Hold on a second, Kyra is calling," I stand and make my way to the kitchen to talk to Kyra without waking the kids.

"Hi my love," I say as I answer the call. I see a black screen but hear some shuffling before Kyra's face fills my screen, a bright smile gracing her.

"Hi, baby. I miss you," she says now pouting. I give her a soft smile.

"I miss you too Ky, but you'll see me in person tomorrow night" She still continues to pout at me through the phone.

"But that's too far," she whines. I chuckle rolling my eyes fondly at her dramatics.

"You've made it this far, another 12 hours won't matter. We've spent longer apart before Ky. Besides our reunion will be that much sweeter," I wink, chuckling when I hear the gagging in the back along with Kyra's flushed face.

"I get you two are in love and haven't seen each other in a few days, but please no bedroom talk in my presence," Kyra adjusts her phone to show Alessia on the other bed in their hotel room with her phone in her hand.

"Haha I'm sorry Less, we'll keep the bed talk down…for now," I whisper at the end.

"I heard that!" Alessia calls, I smile innocently at the camera watching Kyra try and hide her own laugh.

"Sorry Less, I'll stop for real this time," I promise, sending Kyra a wink.

"Thank you!" She calls.

"How was your day baby?" Kyra asks, turning so her back is to Alessia, her head propped up on her arm.

"It was fine. I just got to Mini's. I was picking them up from the airport since they got back from visiting Mini and I's parents. Didn't I tell you?" I question confused.

"You did, that's why I called when I did. Your location showed you at Mini's," Kyra laughs. I join in.

"What are you stalking me?" I question in a joking tone.

"No baby, I missed you and knew I couldn't call until you weren't driving, so I may or may not have been waiting to see you at Mini's," She shrugs continuing to laugh. I smile admiring her through the phone.

"Ky?" I question, she hums in response. "I love you," I say, she gives me a soft smile, her eyes twinkling with what I assume to be love.

"I love you too baby. Get some rest. If I know your sister she offered you to stay wit her for the night. Take her up on the offer. I'll feel better knowing your not sleeping home alone," She says her voice soft and loving, a contrast to her normal goofy behavior. I let out a sigh and nod.

"I will, good night Ky,"

"Good night Y/n/n. I'll see you tomorrow night," I nod and blow her a kiss through the phone. She pretends to catch it, pressing her hand to her lips causing me to smile. "I love you."

"I love you too," I say before reluctantly hanging up the call.

"Wow, I've never seen you like this with a girl before. Not even-"

"Please don't say her name," I cut Katrina off as she walks into the kitchen, "I'm happy with Kyra. I don't want to think about that bitch ever again." I say placing my phone in my pocket and turning to face my sister.

"Okay, okay. I won't say her name. But I want you to know I'm happy you moved on from her. You and Kyra make a great couple. And as much as she gets on my nerves at times, when you are around she seems almost tame." Katrina chuckles moving to stand next to me at the island, I nod, laughing along with her.

"Yeah, she's still her goofy lovable self but a little less chaotic. I miss that a bit with her but I don't love her any less." I say leaning back on the island, a love sick smile on my face. Katrina nudges my side leaning into me.

"What do you have planned for the proposal?" Katrina asks resting her head on my shoulder. I rest mine atop of hers.

"Nothing too fancy. You know Ky, she doesn't care for that kind of stuff. I was just going to make us a light dinner when we got home then propose before we went to bed. We'd be in pajamas and the whole thing would be chill and just…us." I explain smiling at the thought of finally making Kyra my wife.

"I'm proud of you Y/n/n. I can tell how much you both love each other. You deserve it after everything," Katrina whispers to me. I smile pushing her playfully causing her to let out a light laugh.

"Thanks Kat. You better go before you fall under my spell," I joke causing her to laugh again but pull away anyway. She moves to stand in front of me placing her hands on my shoulder to look me in the eye. I bend my knees to be able to look fully into her eyes so I don't strain my neck. I ended up with the height in the family. Katrina pushes me causing me to laugh but reach out to grab her so she doesn't go to far. "I'm sorry, you know I couldn't resist." She rolls her eyes but turns serious as she looks me in the eye. I stop laughing at the serious look on her face. "Sorry, go on," She takes a deep breath.

"I love you. She will say yes. You have nothing to worry about. I can tell you are nervous. There is no reason to be." She says. I nod giving her a grateful smile.

"I love you too. Thank you." I say pulling her into me wrapping her in a hug. I let out a deep breath relishing in the comfort my sister provides. Kat sensing I need it rubs her hand along my back.

"You never need to thank me. For anything. Except maybe for introducing you to your soon to be wife but we can discuss that later." She jokes. I laugh lightly shoving her away.

"You always know how to ruin a moment. Go to your wife and kids. I'm going to change and head to bed." I move towards the guest room knowing I had some clothes I've left here to change into.

"Good night kid, I promise she'll say yes." She calls as I reach the guest room door. I turn to her and nod.

"That's what I'm counting on. Good night Kat," I send her a smile before moving into the room and shutting the door behind me. I take a deep breath sitting on the edge of the bed unlocking my phone to read a message from Kyra.

Ky ❤️‍🔥

Goodnight my love. I can't wait to see you tomorrow. I love you.

Y/n/n 💘

Goodnight baby. I can't wait either. I love you too. Sleep well.

I lock my phone and plug it in to charge on the night stand before changing into my night routine then get into bed, quickly falling asleep despite being full of a mix of nerves and excitement for what tomorrow will bring.

If only I was prepared for how tomorrow would turn out…

[xxnashiraxx]

✨Ali's Birthday Bash!✨

Part 2 | Part 3

Hi everyone!!! Welcome to my birthday bash!! I have exactly one week till my 26th bday!! (It's special cause I'm only 26 on the 26th once!! 😁) I decided a month or so ago that I would like to spend it giving back to the people who have made me feel loved and accepted here on this silly little app and in this wonderful community! 💕 I am oh so grateful, and so beyond awestruck by the friends I've made here and the opportunities to bond with people I never would have met or had otherwise, that I had to do something to show my appreciation. 💗 I won't wax poetic too hard in this opening section, except in the little tidbits below, but my goal is to get 2 of these out a day, probably at different times each day (cause my schedule is a little erratic haha 💗) and I'm going to try so hard to get to everyone- I have some backlog, and I hope I can finish all of these before next week is up! But please bear with me! 💕 This may extend past my bday cause I work fulltime and I have to travel for the holidays, but I have a big list and a lot of people to show love to, so! 💗 Without further ado!!

divider here!

Ysera (for @khywren)

This was the first portrait (right? portrait? ahh idk) I completed!! I have some gripes with it, and I spent so much time trying to go back and forth trying to get things and proportions and perspectives right, but I think she's ready!! I'm not going to be a perfectionist any longer (a bald-faced lie) but I can't keep staring at it!! Now on to what really matters! @khywren you have been such an amazing friend and wonderful presence in my life ever since I met you!! You were one of the very first people to read my fic and comment on it, and you care so much about my writing and show it and it just means so much to me (": Before you and a few other people began to read it, I didn't think I would continue anymore, but you helped me come out of that funk and feel better about the good and the bad! 💕I love Ysera so much, I cherish her and her nature and personality and wish I could hug her on the daily 💗 Your writing is so beautiful and evocative, and it's truly a gift to this fandom- I am so happy to call you my friend and so glad that I get to read your work! I hope I did your gal justice!! 💕 You have my heart forever 🥺💕

Tav (for @bby-bel-art)

BELLL!!! 💜💜 You are such an amazing person!!! I am so so so grateful we met! You are an incredibly talented artist with such a big heart and I treasure you so much! I cannot tell you how insanely overwhelmed with love I feel every time you send me a little art of Ofelia, or make a playlist for my fic, or tell me an idea and I just 🥺💕I feel so unworthy and awed that you like it and think about it and it's crazy- I truly don't know what I did to deserve you, but I am forever honored! You have the best music taste and I admire you so much- thank you for everything, and thank you for being my friend!!! 😁💜 I hope you like this little art of Tav- I am new to scales, so they may not look exactly like they do in the game, or much of the features 💀 But I hope you like it! 💜

Look out for more of these in the coming week! I will tag them all as #ali's birthday bash so hopefully they're a bit easier to find! I love you all so much!!!

[mrmeepsmadmind]

Tf One au where b-127 is older than optimus & when cybertron is free from sentinel, b is going around talking to as many cybertronians as possible, happily introducing himself & waving energetic goodbyes when they end up shoving past him to get where they originally wanted to go before he intruded, & then his optics spot a wary red bot conversing lowly with a happy blue bot & something in his processor Clicks. primus- that's. that's his Brother. he tugs along Optimus, who's been apologizing to grumpy mech but also lecturing them about sparing some kindness on bee's behalf, along, telling him all about cliff, why- why had he forgotten Cliff?? how could he have forgotten his hero?? his big brother!! Optimus never heard any history of cliffjumper ever mentioning even having a brother, let alone mention b-127, no records, certainly, but cliff did have one history of a bad crash against darkwing during a race with terrible processor damage ever since that even altered some of his personality into a more solitary, stand-offish nature, so- maybe he-

& then b-127 introduces himself to the red racer mech already long ago alarmed to their presence, bee's grin large, little antennas brightening highlighter yellow, ' cj!! i missed you so much!! i missed you!! big bro!! it's me!! it's b-'

& cliffjumper glares at him, unnerved.

" after scouring All of my memory files regarding this rather intrusive matter, i report with a Strong firmness of there being no record of you nor our supposed 'relation' located .

i either fail to recognize you, or You have failed to recognize your own fault . & i will affirm you, i almost Never fail . "

bumblebee laughs, nervously. cliff, he was always such a snarker!! mirage & optimus cast uneasy glances. mirage mutters, ' cliff doesn't joke. ' & bee's smile falters a little at the metal corners, but remains against it all. "Cj's conjunx!!", the smallest bot brings his arms up, babbling on about his recent exploits, his new & older (sparkless) friends, his new moniker, how happy he is to see them again, stepping in for a hug big enough to hopefully hold the both of them & optimus too!! and then a big mountain climbing boot with sharpened spikes adding intimidation, both height-wise & appearance regarding in general, step heavy forward, impaling ground beneath it, a blaster poised to b-127's golden temple, the user's cold scowl & even icier sapphire optics narrowed with a permanent, distrusting scrutiny sharpened into whomever was unfortunate to end up their apathetically revolted target.

" you appear to have mistaken my history & my functioning. you assume me for a mech who repeats himself . i do not recommend continuing such grievances . & i certainly-

do Not recommend taking one step closer to my Comrade- Not* conjunx .

your ongoing issues only further surmount my increasingly Decreasing expectations of you, small one. you regard me with far too much fallacy, so allow me to elucidate this-- i am Not a mech who tolerates mistakes .

Abandon our premises, or i will assure you, this laser will abandon this barrel,

close associate to the matrix bearer, or not. i will Not allow you to tread so Crossly upon my company . "

bee backs up, right into optimus, and holds there, only to try and halt his friend's attempts at peacemaking for his accidental aggravation ( yet again.. optimus thinks bee doesn't recognize the groans he gets when he approaches others, when he smiles, when he tries to make conversation with all the thrilling trills of a mech doing his best to entertain & keep everyone from leaving him, abandoned, alone, but optimus- .. optimus is wrong . ). b-127 rambles, no, none of them are making a mistake, not on.. purpose!! anyway! please don't, optimus, please, prime, please don't take his brother away from him again. please, don't take away the only mech who didn't have to feel like he had to apologize for him. .. cliff never really apologized to anyone, really. that's one of the many reasons why he's so cool .

he just wanted cj back, he was right Here!! why couldn't bee hug him, why couldn't bee tell him how much he missed him while cj listened, why doesn't anybot ever just want to Listen--

b-127 scours files too, taking a page from big brother's book.

he scoured EM files, to be factual.

mirage's was.. full of hurt & confusion. maybe he was hurt by cliff's disregard. he wouldn't be the only bot. Optimus held pity, & b-127 instantly moved on from delving any deeper into that.

but cliff's- cj's- Cliffjumper's-

Error : no EM found .

& from the frantic way sapphire optics bore into him, trying to dissect him with their daggers, he could guess, maybe --

cliffjumper's no longer felt his, b-127's, his younger Brother's EM either, no longer felt Anybot's EM, for that matter,

not even his own .

not anymore .

[cripplecharacters]

I have a question about an idea I've seen. This is going to be kind of weird and involves the death of a real person during an epileptic seizure, and whether or not giving the character epilpsy would be a good or a bad idea.

So, in this fandom I write for, one of the characters, Carlos de Vil, was played by disabled actor Cameron Boyce. Mr Boyce was epileptic and passed away during a seizure before the series was completed and Disney decided not to recast him, instead choosing to have Carlos pass away in some event that canon barely acknowledges (there are nods but no cause of death is ever given, not even one small clue. Carlos's death is simply "he's no longer with us and is missed dearly.") Because he is a main character, people have been trying to find and work in a cause of death for the character that would make sense. Recently, I've seen people giving Carlos Mr Boyce's disability, epilepsy, and I was wondering if that was something that should be done, if it's okay to do, or if it's just disrespectful to his memory no matter what. It just feels weird, especially when this evolves into Carlos's passing being due to seizure like Mr Boyce's. By the way, Mr Boyce's friends and loved ones have little to no interaction with the fandom and thus probably have no idea this is happening. If they do, they haven't given an opinion on it beyond "Please respect our privacy." Mr Boyce was also a fairly private person about his medical history. He kept it so that no one except the people closest to him in real life knew he was epileptic at all, and no one really knew he was epileptic and being treated for it until his passing was announced.

I don't know. Would giving Carlos epilepsy be a disrespectful thing to do, considering Mr Boyce passed during a seizure? Or is the idea kind of okay, but giving Carlos the same cause of death isn't? Or is there no problem with this as long as the depiction of epilepsy is accurate?

Hello!

This is... a complicated topic to say the least and there's not really one right answer I can give you. Everybody will have a different opinion on this and I can only share mine.

I do have some familiarity with the fandom and the character in question, though I've admittedly not been involved recently or seen any of the newer films/shows.

In most cases where real people are involved or can be affected, it's generally best to go by their wishes (Or, in lieu of that, their friends/family's wishes). This doesnt mean you have to ask an actor before you headcanon their character as having a disability, it just means that you should keep it in mind if it's something they've spoken against before.

In this situation, of course, that's not really something you can do. And from the sound of it, there's nothing to go on from his friends/family either beyond respecting their privacy.

Personally, I wouldn't do it. I've been seizure free for several years now but the idea of dying during a seizure is something that still terrifies me, especially considering how many close calls I had when I was a child. It's something that is incredibly traumatic, especially when you're young.

Although headcanoning a character as having the same disability as their actor can be done as a way to show respect, that becomes a lot more complicated when the actor in question has died -- and especially when it was because of that disability.

To me, this feels a bit insensitive -- especially given that the intent is to have had Carlos die from a seizure as well. The fact of the matter is that there's not really a need for it.

If the people responsible for the films had chosen to specify the cause of death and had mentioned Carlos having epilepsy as a tribute of some sort, that would be a little bit different in my view. It would have been done with careful consideration and -- hopefully -- with some thought for his family/friends and what it would mean to them.

But that's not what happened. They made the choice not to do that and instead decided to -- from the sound of it -- keep it purposefully vague. When writing fics or creating art or otherwise interacting with the fandom, it's incredibly easy to either follow that and also keep it purposefully vague or invent another reason. In short, the reasoning behind headcanoning Carlos as having died from a seizure seems to be more out of convenience or some sort of "hey look, both of them had epilepsy!" thing instead of any attempt at a tribute or anything like that.

Giving Carlos epilepsy, however, in situations where Carlos wouldn't have died (In AUs, settings before his death, etc.) would be a bit different but it should still be done with care and consideration.

That said, this is just my opinion on the matter. Having Carlos die from a seizure rubs me the wrong way and feels like it's in bad taste but it's not something that's actively causing real harm, especially since you mentioned that his family/friends are likely unaware of all this.

Essentially, if it's something you want to do you're free to do it/keep doing it. But I'd strongly encourage people to think about why they're doing it and to consider alternate options.

Cheers,

~ Mod Icarus

[pipecleaneradventures]

Hi everybody! I hope you all enjoy the new Sonic movie. Sorry that I never finished recreating its trailer. To be honest, my heart wasn’t in it. I gave up all of my own original ideas to work on it instead, so I really wasn’t happy just recreating something that was keeping me away from what I really wanted to do. I treated myself so badly psychologically while working on it. I’ve been treating myself like that for a long time and finally realized how bad it was and that I needed to stop being so mean to myself. That was the rough time I’ve been having lately, trying to rebuild myself and learning to treat myself better, but it’s really hard to do because I want to be perfect and make the best things possible. Some of you told me I was being too hard on myself, but I didn’t understand that I was hurting myself. So I’m really sorry.  I really hope this doesn/t ruin the cuteness of what I make, I hope to bring you some really cute adventures in the pipe cleaner universe next year. Even if just making my stories as comics at first is all I can do, that will be ok right? I just need to realize thatI am enough, but it/s just really hard to do. I’ll keep trying and making things and hopefully I/ll get better psychologically and be able to make even better things. For now, thanks for being such kind followers and friends to me. I still feel like I failed you guys by not finishing that trailer. I'm so sorry, but I realized how badly I needed to heal myself psychologically and stop hurting myself. But I'm still so sorry about it all. I should never have pushed myself so hasrd to make a big project when I was already struggling and having a rough time making little things. So, I hope none of you ever are mean to yourselves like I was to myself. I hope you all will be ok and happy.

[bmpmp3]

Audine :)

[vynnyal]

Turns out Sunlit Trail isn't quite done just yet, so after all that they just send you to a dead end 😂

[dawnthefluffyduck]

Warm Coco (speedpaint)

[heybaetae]

hi

[kohane-nui-daily]

day 4, week 1

kohane is ready for school tomorrow!

it's friday so the week is almost over, keep going!

👟 8,550 steps | 🥤 3 full cups, 1050ml [1050/2000ml] | 🍴 1 nearly/basically-done meal (lunch), 1 meal (dinner) [2/3], 2 snacks [2/5] | 🌙 roughly 23:14 - around 06:30(?)

[photo taken at 20:34 bst]

[lucalicatteart]

cannot resist using the polls to make up a little collaborative story lol.. Not sure how much I can keep it up with my low energy/health problems lol, but I'll try to draw a new picture (+ write a small text blurb and new action options to vote on) each day based on the past day's results, at least for a while. Kind of like a 'sketch a day' type challenge, except story based with votes choosing what happens next. :0

[silverselfshippingchaos]

ugghhh wintertime sucks!! I'm sad and tired and sad all the time.. I need a nap.. and f/o cuddles.. and another nap..

[ichigosatsuki]

Just wondering if anyone has done this yet? I pretty sure yes maybe

But still couldn't help myself but draw somethin' up when I heard/saw this song on my Youtube recommended! ^^

"It is expected... An oath we created for mutual gain. Yet I keep finding myself drawing away from my original path oh so often.

-

Let me hold you, keep you close to me... I long to hear your voice.

But dear bishop, I don't understand. Please just explain it!

-

Is there something more that I don't know? Please understand, I don't care that you're of higher godly station or if you're here just to prime my darkest temptations!

Just why can't you understand..?

Let me explain!

-

And I'm terrified, as I cry.. To let my feelings be true. But perhaps what if I'm not enough?

What if I'm not enough to let down those walls you've built? Those walls you've conjured up to help you live?

-

Is how you felt all this time? Scorned and shunned away by fellow bishops that couldn't comprehend what you are?

-

I'll try my best to make amends, try to solve things peacefully in the end. But please.. I promise to stay!

Promise to listen and stay!

Just as long as you look my way..."